


There's a First Time for Everything

by Masterless



Series: Even's Past [2]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Dissociation, I gave his parents and siblings names and there's a lot of them, first bad episode, trigger warning? I'm not entirely sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 23:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10685088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterless/pseuds/Masterless
Summary: They were going on a family trip, Even, his parents, and his four siblings. One older brother and three younger siblings, two brothers and a sister. It was what they did some years. They were renting a cabin on the beach, they would go swimming and fishing, they would have a barbecue almost every night, sometimes they would go out for a boat ride out into the sea to go whale watching. It was fun.Until it wasn't.





	1. We're Going On a Trip

It was small things at first. He was more irritable or excitable, he slept for a little longer than usual or he didn't sleep as long as he really should. Even felt great some days and awful others, but he was a teenager, wasn't this what everyone was going through? His hormones were fucking up because he was going through puberty. It was normal, it was fine. His parents weren't worried, so why should he be? It was just hormonal stuff, and it would calm down in a year or two.

It wasn't bad either, Even thought. He felt fine most of the time, just random spikes followed by a few days of lows, or a few days of lows followed by a few days of excitement. It wasn't all bad. Sure, sometimes he felt like he was forcing himself out of bed, and sometimes he felt like he was forcing himself into bed, but it was whatever.  
It wasn't until the summer before his second year at Bakka that something actually happened. 

They were going on a family trip, Even, his parents, and his four siblings. One older brother and three younger siblings, two brothers and a sister. It was what they did some years. They were renting a cabin on the beach, they would go swimming and fishing, they would have a barbecue almost every night, sometimes they would go out for a boat ride out into the sea to go whale watching. It was fun.

Until it wasn't.

***

“Come on, kids!” dad yelled. “Help me unload all this stuff into the cabin!” He pulled Even towards the car by the back of his shirt. “You, too, speedy, help first, swim later.”

Even rolled his eyes but grinned, grabbing four of the heavy suit cases and dragging them towards the cabin, taking off in a run, racing with his little sister. She laughed and sped up next to him, trying to be faster than her long legged brother. Even though he wasn't the oldest, he was definitely the tallest, and he hadn't even stopped growing yet. He liked his little sister, she was more fun than any of his other siblings, and she was blonde, like him. The youngest boy, Arvid, was blonde, too, but it was already starting to darken to brown. Even and Britt were the only ones to keep their blonde hair, and to Even, that was the only thing that mattered.

“Even!” mamma yelled, worriedly. “Don't strain yourself!”

“I'm fine, mamma!” Even yelled back.

Mamma walked over the the boot of the car, where her husband and oldest son were still taking things out of the back.

“Einar,” she whispered, “I'm a little worried about him.”

Einar looked up and over at Even, who was currently unlocking the front door to the cabin. It didn't look like there was anything wrong.

“Why?” he asked.

“Haven't you noticed all the mood swings?”

“I went through a bunch of mood swings at his age,” Eirick, the eldest Bech Næsheim boy, said. “I'm sure he's fine.”

Einar nodded. “Laila, I'm sure everything will sort itself out when he's a bit older, just look at Eirick. He's right, he had a lot of mood swings.”

Laila frowned nervously and pursed her lips, but nodded. “Okay. But I'm keeping an eye on him, okay?”

Einar chuckled. “You worry too much, honey. We’re on holiday!”

“Why is mamma worried?” Even had come up behind them, already in his sandals and swim trunks.

“Because she's worried you're becoming a giraffe!” Eirick teased, shaking his head at Even. “You're too tall!”

Even laughed and took a cooler full of food from his dad. “I get it from papa, I don't see you telling him he's a giraffe!”

“That's because papa is your height and he won't keep growing,” Laila said, tucking a stray curl behind Even’s ear. 

Even grinned, his eyes crinkling like they do. Laila loved that smile.

Even took off towards the cabin again, Britt on his tail, laughing her head off. It was nice to have an older brother who liked to hang out with her. Siri knows was already in university, so it wasn't like he had a lot of time, and she thought Arvid and Bjørn were immature, as they were younger than her. But she idolized Even.

Inside the cabin, there were three rooms, one for mamma and papa, one for the Eirick and Even, and one for her and Arvid and Bjørn.

“Could you and the twins switch rooms?” Britt asked, tugging in Even’s fingers. “I don't want to share a room with them, they're smelly…”

Even knelt down next to her, smiling widely. “They're three, of course they're smelly.” He poked her in the stomach. “You were smelly at that age.”

“No I wasn't!” Brett fought back. “I'm a girl, and girls aren't smelly.” She let out a shriek of laughter and Even picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder.

“You were so smelly, Eirick and I tried to give you to the garbage man! But mamma and papa stopped us before we even got out the door.” He walked out the cabin, being careful to duck so as not to bonk her head on the lintel. She laughed all the way down to the beach, the started to struggle as Even walked into the water.

“No!” she shrieked. “Don't throw me in! I can't swim!”

“You can't swim?” Even asked, mocking a shocked voice. He knew she was lying, they did this every year. “Well then I'll teach you!”

“Even!” 

He turned around and faced his mother, who was looking on with her brow furrowed.

“Put her down.”

“But mamma!” Brett complained as Even did as he was told. “We always do this!”

“Well, I don't want you to anymore.”

Even kicked at the water and mumbled, “Bitch,” under his breath.

When their mamma had walked away, Britt turned to Even and smacked his stomach.

“That wasn't nice!” she scolded. “You don't call mamma that!”

Even scowled at her. “Don't hit me!”

She raised her hand to slap him again when he took hold of her wrist, his fingers clasped tightly around. 

“Don't hit me!” he yelled.

“Even!” Britt whimpered. “You're hurting me!” She started to cry when he didn't let go. “Mamma! Papa!”

Their papa peaked his head out from inside the car, and quickly walked over to the two on the beach.

“Even,” he said, putting a broad hand on his son’s shoulder. “Even, let go.”

“She hit me!” Even protested.

“She’s seven,” Einar said calmly, putting his other hand over his son's. “She doesn't know it's wrong.”

Even glared at their father for another few seconds, then let go and turned away, wading deeper into the water and sitting down.

Einar picked his crying daughter up and hushed her, petting her hair and taking her hand in his. Her wrist was red and already bruising.

“What happened?” Laila asked when they got inside.

“She hit Even,” Einar said, putting his daughter down on the kitchen counter.

“And he hurt me!” she sobbed, holding out her wrist to her mamma. “Mamma, he hurt me!”

“Oh, baby,” Laila said, wrapping her arms around her daughter, kissing her brow. “It'll be okay. Even’s just going through some things right now.”

Britt sniffed. “Was of my fault?”

“No,” Laila said, cupping her cheeks. “Even shouldn't have done that, it was his fault.”

“You shouldn't have hit him, though,” Einar said. “But he shouldn't have grabbed you.”

“But he said a bad word,” Britt said. “He called mamma a bad word.”

Laila smiled. “It's not the first time one of my sons has been a pain in my neck, I'll be fine.”

Britt nodded, rubbing her nose on the back of her uninjured wrist. “Can I go swim now?”


	2. Can We Start Over?

Later that night, while they were all sat around a small fire and eating grilled sausages, Even stood and went to sit next to Britt.

“I'm sorry I hurt you,” he said, looking down at his hands. “I didn't mean to.”

Britt had already forgiven him, so she wrapped her short arms around her brother and kissed his cheek.

“I accept your apology,” Britt said.

Even smiled at her, eyes crinkling. He and Britt stayed next to each other for the rest of the night. When it was time to go to bed, Britt crawled in next to Even, who was sat in his bed, sketching something in his little book of drawings.

“What are you drawing?” she asked with a yawn.

“A shark,” Even said, showing her the picture. It had a top hat and monocle, smiling widely. “He's an entrepreneur, and he owns a long chain of undersea shopping malls in the Mariana’s Trench.”

“What's Mariana’s Trench?” she asked.

“It's this huge canyon in the ocean floor near California.”

“What's a canyon?”

“It's like a long tear in the earth.”

“The earth is broken?”

Even laughed. “No, it's not broken. It's supposed to be like that.”

“Why?”

Even shrugged. “Because tectonic plates are moving around, making the earth move, too.”

Britt gasped. “Is the earth moving now?”

Even nodded, putting down his sketch book. “Oh yeah! It's hurtling thousands of miles and hour through space, all around the sun! And the plates of the earth's crust are moving, too! Just very, very slowly. We can feel when two plates have rubbed against each other for too long, because it causes earthquakes and tsunamis!” He took a deep breath. “And then we have the earth moving around the sun again, and all the planets moving around the sun, and we go around so fast that if the earth stopped in its tracks,” he looked down at Britt, who was clutching the blanket up to her face, terrified, “we’d all be flung off! We’d all fly off into space!”

“Even.” Eirick had just come into the room. “You're scaring her.”

He picked her up, patting her back.

“She wanted to know about sharks!” Even protested, his brows furrowing again.

“Jesus, Even, what's up with you today?” Eirick snapped. “Get your temper under control.”

“Fuck you!” Even shouted, standing and stomping passed his brother, out into the living room of the cabin, and out into the night.

“What's going on?” Einar asked, coming into the room. “What just happened?”

“Even said a bad word!” Britt said as Eirick put her back down on Even’s bed.

“I told him to get his temper in check and he stormed out,” Eirick said, sighing. “I think mamma is right, there's something up with him.”

Einar shook his head. “He's just stressed, he’ll be fine.”

***

Even didn't come back in until morning. Well, technically he didn't come back in, but he returned to the little patch of beach behind the house when the sun was rising, and fell asleep in one of the chairs in front of the house.

“Even!” Laila shouted when she say him, both relieved and furious at him. “What did you think you were doing? Leaving like that?”

Even just turned around in his chair, facing away from her.

“Even!” Laila marched over so her son would face her. “You cannot being doing that!” She knelt down next to him, her anger fading away when she saw the dark rings under his eyes. Had they been there yesterday? “Even, you worried us.”

“I'm sorry,” he said, rubbing an eye. “But I just couldn't be here anymore.”

“Anymore?” she asked, putting a hand on her son's shoulder. “But we just got here?”

“Everyone's been yelling at me,” Even said, frowning. “Papa, Eirick, Britt, you. You're all yelling at me.”

“You hurt Britt, and your father was scared for her.” She sighed, pushing his curls from his eyes. “Eirick shouldn't have yelled, but you yelled at him first. You both need to figure this out, you've never had this problem before.”

Even nodded, looking down at the wooden arm of his chair. “Can we start over? Like none of this happened?”

Laila smiled. “Of course we can.”


	3. Don't Slip!

And it seemed like things were going better, at least for a few days. Even was still irritable, but he seemed to be better than before. He didn’t hurt anyone again, and he played nicely with his younger siblings in the water. Britt had forgotten all about the incident on the first day, but just because she had didn’t mean their parents had. They kept a closer eye on him from them on.

“Even,” Einar said one day, opening up the grill. “Do you want to help me cook tonight? I know you liked to last time we were here.”

“Sure,” Even said, bounding to his feet and hopping over to his father. “What should I do?”

“Why don’t you prepare the dry rub for the stake?”

Even nodded, throwing together the herbs and spices his father had set out. When he was done, he scooped a handful of the stuff and started to slather it onto the meat, handing it over to his father after he was done.

“Good,” Einar said, looking over the stake. “This looks really good. Do you want to put it on the grill?”

Even nodded, smiling. His father had never let him do that before. He picked up the corner of one stake and carefully placed it on the burning hot metal bars, hearing that satisfying sizzle. He picked up another and repeated this action until there was only one left. He hadn’t noticed Eirick come up behind him, and yelped when he gave his brother a shove.

“Don’t slip!” he yelled, laughing.

“Eirick!” Einar yelled, glaring at his oldest son. “Do you know how dangerous that could have been?”

“Papa?” Even asked in a quiet voice.

“Ja, Even?’ his father asked, turning back to him. His stomach plunged as he saw Even cradling his hand, which had a glaring red burn.

“Shit,” Eirick muttered. “Even, I’m so sorry.”

But Even’s face was calm. “I can’t… I can’t feel it.”

“Shit,” Einar said, putting his arm around Even’s shoulders and rushing him inside.

He thrust Even’s hand under the tap and turned on the cool water, and Even started to cry. His eyes filled with tears of shock, and he didn’t stop them from falling silently down his face. His father grabbed the first aid kit, fumbling for the antiseptic cream and some bandages. Where were the bandages? 

When he found them, he took Even’s hand gently from the water and dabbed it dry before applying the antiseptic. He carefully wrapped it.

“Papa!” Britt called from outside. “We’re back!”

Laila had taken the youngest three out into town to see a movie. When she came back into the cabin, she had a frown on her face. 

“Einar, the food is burning.” When she saw Even’s hand, all bandaged up, her eyes widened. “What happened?”

Eirick looked up, in tears. “I…”

“I slipped,” Even lied. “I slipped and put my hand on the grill. I’m okay.”

“I pushed him,” Eirick blurted. “It was supposed to be funny, I didn’t mean to…”

Laila shook her head. “You should know better than to push people around fire, Eirick. Go to your room.” She moved over to Even and took his hand softly in hers. “Are you sure he doesn’t need to go to the hospital?”

“I’m fine, mamma,” Even reasured. “I’ll tell you if it gets worse.”

***

He didn’t, because it didn’t. His hand healed well, but it took a few weeks. During that time, Eirick was mostly quiet, but Even made up for it. He rambled on at dinner about a fish that he’d seen in the water that day, or how the moon looked as it reflected off the water. He said he wanted to be a movie director, and was already looking for schools to go to. He told everyone about his girlfriend, Sonja, and how she was the prettiest person in the world, even prettier than mamma.

“But that’s impossible!” Arvid said, looking up at Even with wide, worried eyes. “No one’s prettier than mamma!”

Laila laughed. “I’m glad this girl makes you happy, Even.”

“She makes me more than happy!”

“Woah, there,” Eirick joked. “Don’t think we need to go there.”

Even laughed, but Britt looked on with confusion.

“Go where?” she asked.

Even laughed again. “Nowhere, sweety.”


	4. The Cave

Two days after that, Even was itching to get back into the water. He hadn’t been able to because of his hand, so he made the decision any teenager would. He waited until everyone went to sleep before creeping out and going for a swim. He kept his hand above the water, which kind of made it hard to swim, but he enjoyed himself. At some point during the night, Even found a cave. It looked old, full of jagged rocks and dried up sea weed. There was a trail to the cave from their cabin, he found out as he walked back. He would have to show Britt in the morning.

When the sun rose, he was back in his bed before anyone knew he was gone. Well, almost anyone.

“Where did you go?” Eirick asked, looking over at his brother from his bed.

Even looked over at him, pulling his blanket up his legs. “I went for a walk.”

“And got wet?”

Even smiled. “And a swim.”

Eirick sighed. “I won't tell.”

“Thanks.”

“Go to sleep.”

 

***

When everyone woke up and gathered for breakfast, Even bent down so he could be the same height as Britt.

“Do you want to go exploring?” he whispered.

Britt nodded, looking excited.

“We can go after lunch,” Even continued. “When mamma and papa putting Arvid and Bjørn down to nap, okay?”

“What about Eirick?”

“He won't tell.”

So a few hours later, Even and Britt were walking along the beach to the cave. Even was chatting amicably and calling this their “unexpected journey”.

“Have you read _The Hobbit_?” Even asked.

“Nei,” Britt said, trying to keep up with Even’s long strides.

“You should,” Even said. “It’s about this really short guy named Bilbo Baggins, and he goes on this journey with a bunch of dwarves who are trying to get their mountain back from a dragon! I think you’d enjoy it.”

“Could you read it to me?”

“Of course!” Even looked so excited. “I brought the book with me, we can start tonight! You can come and sleep next to me and I’ll read you the first few chapters, and then tomorrow I’ll read some more, okay?”

“Okay!”

And they were there. The mouth of the cave was small, but it opened up into a wide cavern. Even helped Britt climb up to a small plateau, where they stood and looked around the place, pointing out different formations in the rock.

“That looks like a pony!” Britt said, pointing down.

“That one looks like a dick,” Even said, pointing up.

“What’s a penis?”

“Oh, you’ll learn about it in school.”

“Oh.” If they were going to learn about it in school, the Britt wasn’t interested. She hated school. She didn’t know how anyone could like it. They could be doing better things with their time, like playing and eating ice cream, or -

“Did you hear that?” Even asked, a concerned look forming on his face.

“Hear what?” Britt strained her ears to listen, but couldn’t hear anything.

“That, right there,” Even whispered. “It sounds like people fighting.” And his face grew strange, almost like he was going to be sick. “We need to leave.”

“Why?” Britt asked. “I wanna see what’s further back!”

“We just need to leave, okay?” Even grabbed her by the arm, marching them out of the cave. He was holding too tight again, but Britt didn’t care this time. Even looked scared, so he must have heard something that meant they had to leave. If they had to leave, then she didn’t care how hard he was gripping her arm. It was for her best, she knew that. When they got back to the cabin, Even went back to his room, closing the door before she could follow.


	5. Please Don't Get a Divorce

When Eirick got back from fishing with Einar, he went to his room to change, only to find his brother scribbling furiously in his sketchbook, with wads of paper scrunched up around him, and tears on his cheeks.

“Even, are you okay?” he asked, setting his jacket down on his bed. He sat next to Even, taking a look at his drawings. It was the cave across the fjord, but they way he had drawn it scared Eirick.

“Mamma and papa are getting a divorce,” Even muttered, rubbing his eye. “I heard them talk about it.”

“What?” Their parents couldn’t be getting a divorce, they were in love. They had five kids, they lived in a decent house, they never had any fights. “When did you hear this?”

“Earlier.” Even rubbed his eyes again, but this him he did it tiredly. “In the cave. Britt and I went exploring, we heard them talking to each other, yelling. They’re getting a divorce.”

“Mamma has been here all day, with the twins.” Eirick was confused. “Papa and I went fishing. They haven’t had time to go to the cave.”

“They were there,” Even insisted. “And they were yelling. Just ask Britt, she’ll tell you.”

And so he did. After making sure Even was going to be okay, he went to find his little sister. She was playing with  plastic horse their grandmamma had gotten her for christmas. She didn’t really like it, she said it scared her at night, but it was one of the only toys she’d packed.

“Hey, Britt,” Eirick said, sitting down next to her. “Do you mind if I play with you?”

She looked at him skeptically. “Why?”

“‘Because Even’s not feeling very well,” Eirick said, “and he doesn’t want to leave you all on your lonesome, so I said I’d play with you.”

It was a blatant lie, but she didn’t need to know that.

“Okay,” she said, holding out a barbie doll to him. “You can play with barbie, she’s trying to capture the horse so she can train it to not kill me in my sleep.”

Eirick nodded, his eyebrows raised. This kid was a little morbid, but that was okay. He made barbie walk and talk, made her try to tame the horse, but Britt kept making the horse kick barbie down. She sighed and dropped the horse on the floor, crossing her arms in front of her and looking up at him.

“You don’t play right.”

“I don’t?”

“Nei, Even always makes barbie super strong and powerful.” Britt scrunched up her nose. “You made her dumb, like all the other girls at school do.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

She shrugged.

Leaning against the couch, he looked at his little sister with more attention than he had in awhile. Her hair was golden blonde, like Even’s, and her eyes were blue grey like his, too. The two were a pair, along with their mother. She still had her pudgy stomach and chubby fingers, but he could tell she’d grow into a beauty, again like their mother. She seemed bored, not upset like Even.

“Did you go out to the cave with Even?” he asked.

Britt’s eyes widened, and she looked scared. “You won’t tell mamma and papa, will you?”

Oh? Maybe she had heard something. “No, I won’t. Even told me you guys heard something there? Yelling?”

But Britt shook her head. “Even said he did, but I didn’t, and then he shut himself in your room and left me alone. Mamma and the twins went to town again to buy some more water, and you and papa were fishing, so I had no one to play with.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Eirick looked up as the door opened, and the twins burst in, each holding a 12oz bottle themselves, and mamma holding three 1-litre bottles. 

“I’ll help you,” Eirick said, taking two off his mother and putting them on the counter. 

She smiled at him and put her bottle on the counter, too. She motioned for him to follower her out onto the beach, and he did, hoping to find out some answers to Even’s belief.

“Your papa and I were talking,” she started. Oh no. Was Even correct? “And we’ve decided that we’re going to go out for dinner tonight, just the two of us. We would like you to look after your siblings.” She smiled again. “Papa and I need a night to ourselves, to relax and not worry about feeding everyone. Is that okay?”

“Okay?” Eirick asked, relieved. “Is that okay? Mamma, that’s fine! You guys have fun!” Then he frowned. “But I do need to tell you something. Even’s… Even thinks that you and papa are getting a divorce.”

“A divorce?” Laila raised an eyebrow in shock. “Nei! Your papa and I are nowhere near getting a divorce! Why would he say that?”

“He said he heard you yelling in the caves.” Eirick shrugged. “But Britt said she didn’t hear anything, so I don’t know if he’s telling the truth. He looked pretty worked up about it though.”

Laila frowned, and walked back inside, to her oldest sons’ room, and knocked gently before entering.

“Even?” she said, kneeling down beside his bed. He was under the blankets, facing the wall. “Even, can you face me?”

He did, and she had to stop herself from gasping. His face was flushed red from crying, and he looked so tired.

“Oh, my baby,” she said, laying on his bed and pulling him close. “What’s wrong?”

“I heard you and papa y-yelling him the caves…”

“Baby, your papa and I weren’t in the caves, we haven’t been there since before you were born.”

Even propped himself up on one arm, looking confused. “But I heard you, I know I did. You were yelling about getting… getting divorced.” His eyes filled with tears again and he laid back down, putting his head on her chest and snuggling up to her. “Please don’t get a divorce.”

She patted his hair, holding him close again. “Baby, we won’t. I promise.”


	6. Please Don't Hurt Me

When Laila and Einar got back from their date, giggling and tripping over sand, more than a little tipsy, they came back to the cabin in disarray.

“What happened?” Einar asked, sobering quickly. “Eirick, what’s happening?”

Britt was on the couch, crying quietly, while Eirick was holding Arvid, and trying to get Bjørn to stop sobbing. The table was on its side and there was pasta sauce all over the kitchenette. 

“Eirick?” Laila asked as she went to comfort Britt. “What happened?”

“Even wouldn’t get out of bed,” Eirick said, his voice constricted like he was trying not to cry. “But I told him he could help make dinner, you know how that usually makes him feel better, and he got out to help, but he didn’t do much. I told him to stir the sauce when I set the table, and then there was a clang and I turned around and the sauce was everywhere, and he was crying and kept screaming that it was blood, and Bjørn started screaming because he thought it was blood too, and then Britt ran over to wipe him up. But Even pushed her away, and into me, and I fell and knocked over the table and he ran out of the cabin.”

“Where did he go?” Einar asked, opening the door and looking out.

“I don’t know,” Eirick whispered, clutching his baby brother, and looking much younger than he was. “Papa, I’m scared.” He sniffed, a tear escaping from his eye. “What if he get’s hurt?”

Britt started to cry again, burying her face in her mother’s lap.

“He’ll be fine,” Laila said, stroking her daughter’s hair. “We just need to find him.”

“Mamma,” Eirick sobbed, shaking his head. “Mamma, he needs help.”

“We just need to find him right now.”

“He’ll be in the cave,” Britt sobbed. “We went earlier, he liked it. He said he could hear something, people yelling. He’ll be there.”

Einar and Laila set off in the direction of the cave on the other side of the fjord, leaving Eirick to take care of the others. They were climbing up a steep sand dune when Einar pointed to something in the sand. It was a shoe, definitely one of Even’s, and the first footprints they had seen. So Even had definitely gone this way. When they got to the cave, they crouched to enter it, Einar flicking on his flashlight to take a look around. They heard a faint whimpering from deeper in the cavern.

“Even?” Laila called. “Even, is that you?”

The whimpering stopped, and there was a scuffling sound. “D-don’t come any closer. I-I’ll scream!”

“Even, it’s mamma,” Laila called again, her voice trying to be calm. “It’s mamma.”

“Nei!” Even yelled. “You-you stay away!”

“Even, it’s just us,” Einar said, creeping towards his son’s voice. “Please, Even just come towards us.”

“Nei! Leave me alone! I’ll scream!”

Einar shone his flash light around and caught sight of his son, curled up in a ball with his head between his knees. “Even. It’s all going to be okay.”

Even looked up, his face pale, his eyes wide with terror. He scrambled to his feet and pressed himself up against the cave wall, shaking his head. “Nei, please, don’t hurt me.”

“Hurt you?” Laila asked, walking past her husband and towards her son, her arms opening to take him into her embrace. “Even, it’s just us.” Her hands came to rest on his shoulders, and he pushed her back, shifting away from her with a look of pure fright on his face.

“Nei!” He tried to run, but Einar caught him and held him as he struggled. He thrashed and squirmed, kicking his feet and bucking his head back, trying to get loose. “Nei, please, let me go!” He started to sob, big, ugly tears running down his face. He screamed, still fighting against his father’s hold.

“Even, shhh,” Einar said, holding his son tightly to him. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’ve got you.”

Laila looked on with tears in her eyes. “Even, it’s just us.”

“Please!” Even sobbed again. “P-please, just let me go! Just let me… go…” And he went limp, causing Einar to stumble and fall. Even rested on the cave floor, sobbing and crying out, weakly banging his fists on the ground.

Laila rushed to his side, trying to calm him but causing him to sob even louder.

“I’m so sorry,” Laila whispered, stroking his hair, whispering into his ear, holding her son limply in her arms. “My baby, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Einar watched with blurry eyes, wiping his nose on the back of his hand. “Laila… we need to call someone…”

She nodded, crying hard now, looking down at her son in her arms, who had gone still, staring up at the cave ceiling. He was gone to her, she knew it. They couldn’t get him back, not right now. Her baby needed her and she couldn’t help.

“We need to go back to the cabin and call someone,” he said, scooting closer to her. He put his hand in Even’s hair, feeling the silky soft strands flow between his fingers. “I’ll carry him.” Slipping his arms under Even’s knees and shoulder, he lifted his son, and carried him towards the cave entrance. He had a little trouble getting out through the tight opening, but eventually did. 

When they got back to the cabin, Even had fallen into some sort of sleep. Einar placed him in one of the chairs outside, nodding towards the door.

“Go put Arvid, Bjørn, and Britt to bed. He wouldn’t want them to see him like this.”

Laila nodded her head, going inside. Eirick came out as soon as she went inside, taking in the form of his little brother in the chair. He was crying again, his chin trembling.

“Is he okay?” he asked, afraid to step closer, as if he would hurt Even by just being close to him.

Einar smiled sadly. “I don’t think he’s been okay for awhile now. We just didn’t notice.”

Eirick nodded, his shoulders shaking. Einar held out his arm and his oldest son hugged him tightly, looking down at his brother the whole time. He took in the dust on his clothes, the pasta sauce. He noticed that the skin on Even’s knuckled were busted and bloody, as if he had beaten them against the wall. He had small scratches all over his legs and arms, some bleeding, some not. He looked exhausted.

Laila came back out and nodded her head. “Britt wouldn’t get into bed, but I made her promise to look after the twins. She’s in her room.”

Einar nodded and picked Even up again, bringing him into the cabin and then to his room. He wrapped him in his blanket after taking off his shoe and his clothes, putting him in his pajamas. When he went back into the living room, Britt was waiting outside Even’s door, looking up expectantly.

“Can I see him?” she asked, her little arms crossed over her chest.

Einar shook his head. “Not right now, baby.”

“But I want to see him!” she yelled, tears bubbling to her eyes again. “Papa, let me see Even! Let me see Even!” Her voice had risen to a shriek, and Einar heard Even moving around inside the room. He was starting to mumble to himself, stirring at all the noise. “Let me see Even!”

“Britt, stop!” Einar yelled. He usually hated yelling at his children. “You do not speak to me like that! Now go sit with your mother!”

She stopped screaming, eyes wide. She started crying again, and ran to Laila, who held her and sent a scathing look to her husband.

“I… I’m going to call the hospital in Oslo, see what they suggest…” Einar said.

Laila nodded, soothing her daughter. Eirick looked pale and a little sick, leaning against his mother for support.

“We’ll get through this,” Laila promised. “I know we will.”

Eirick nodded as he watched his father talk on the phone. There was a lot of eye rubbing and sighing, some vague hand gestures thrown in as well. When he hung up the phone, he hung his head for a few moments, sighed, and walked back over to his family. He sat next to Laila and pulled Britt onto his lap. 

“I’m sorry for yelling, my baby,” he whispered, resting his cheek on her forehead. “I’m just worried.”

“Why?” she asked, rubbing her eyes. “Is Even sick? Is that why you had to call the hospital?”

“Yes, sweety.”

“Will he be okay?”

“Of course he will,” Laila supplied in Einar’s silence. “He just needs to get some help right now. It might take awhile, maybe even years, but eventually Even will be okay.”


	7. I Should Tell Him

They spent most of the night in the living room, with Britt and Eirick eventually falling asleep on the couch.

“What did we do?” Einar asked at some point. The sun was starting to come up, so it must have been early.

“We didn’t do anything,” Laila said, rubbing her nose. “It just happened.”

“Isn’t it genetic, though?”

“Not always.” Laila sighed, resting her head on her husband’s shoulder. “What did the hospital say?”

“The doctor I spoke to said it would be best for him to stay in the psychiatric ward for few weeks so he can be evaluated. But I just…” Einar closed his eyes, feeling tears clogging his throat. “I just can’t imagine Even there, you know? That bright kid, locked away in some nut house.”

“It’s not a nut house.” Laila prodded him in the stomach. “It’s a place of healing. He’ll get the help he needs, the help we can’t give him. He’ll be okay there.”

“What if he refuses to go?”

“He’s sixteen, which means that we have jurisdiction over what he does and where he goes. He’s going.” Laila yawned. “When do you think he should?”

“The doctor said that we should bring him in as soon as possible. I’m thinking about all of us going home this morning and then taking him in the evening.”

Laila nodded. “I think we need to leave this place. Go home.”

 

***

 

So, when almost everyone was awake again, they all packed and loaded the car while Even stayed in bed. Laila went to ask if he wanted breakfast, but he shook his head and just stared at the wall. When they had eaten, she went back to him and said they were going home. It didn’t perk him up, per say, but it did motivate him out of bed. He took the window seat in the back of the minivan, and Eirick took the other. The twins and Britt were in the three seats in the middle of the car, though Britt had put up a fight about wanting to sit next to Even. She was angry the whole ride back because she wasn’t allowed to. Eirick kept an eye on his younger brother, and occasionally handed him pieces of cereal to munch on. Even took them and put them in his mouth, chewed them slowly, and swallowed even slower.

“Do you want to lay down?” Eirick asked. “I can grab a pillow from the boot and you can rest your head in my lap.”

Even nodded, and Eirick pulled a pillow from the hazardously piled mound of stuff in the back. Even unclipped his seatbelt and rested his head in Eirick’s lap. When he closed his eyes, he fell asleep almost instantly, and Eirick smiled a little. It had been awhile since they’d done this. Even used to rest his head on Eirick’s lap when they watched movies.

It was hard getting Even up when they got home, but when they did he went straight up to his room and got into bed. Einar and Laila shared a look, but didn’t say anything. Laila made lunch and brought Even his, but she left it on his bedside table, shaking her head when Einar looked up hopefully when she got back downstairs. He sighed, and called the hospital to confirm a time to bring Even.

“I should probably tell him,” Einar said, suddenly.

“You haven’t told him?” Eirick asked incredulously. “Yeah, you should probably tell him.”

Einar made his way up to his son’s room and knocked on the door. “Even? Can I come in?”

There was a grunt, and Einar took it as a yes. He stepped into Even’s room and went to sit on his son’s best, resting a warm hand on Even’s shoulder. 

“I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I-”

“You got me an appointment at the hospital.” It wasn’t a question, it was like Even knew. “I’m sick, aren’t I? That’s why my head feels so foggy?”

Einar sighed. He seemed to be doing a lot of sighing recently. “Ja, you’ve got an appointment at the hospital. And they want you to stay for a few weeks to figure out how to help.”

Even nodded. “When am I going?”

“In two hours.”

“Okay.”

So, two hours later, Even was climbing into the front passenger seat of his dad’s car. Einar turned the key and started the engine, waving to his wife and taking his son away to get the help he deserved.


	8. Three Years Later

Nearly three years later, Even had his own apartment with his boyfriend, the wonderful, beautiful, understanding Isak. And he loved his apartment, and he loved his boyfriend. Isak, who was currently under him, hands on his back and nails digging into his skin, was perfect.

“Oh, fu-uck, Even!” Isak moaned, as Even thrust his hips forward once again.

“Yeah, baby?” Even muttered in Isak’s ear before latching his mouth to Isak’s neck and sucking an impressive hickey there.

“Fuuuuck!” Isak hitched his legs up higher around Even’s waist, his back arching. He had already left his fair share of marks on Even’s neck, and he was quite proud of all of them.

Suddenly, Even’s phone started to ring, signaling that his mother was calling.

“Shit!” Even said, reaching to pick it up.

“Even!” Isak groaned, batting lightly at his chest. “You cannot pick up that call.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re inside of me! It’s awkward!”

“She’s my mamma! I have to.” And he did. “Halla, mamma.”

“Halla, Even! We’re having a family dinner tonight, Eirick is coming all the way from university. Will you be coming?”

“Uh, ja. I’ll be there. Family-family, or can I bring Isak?” He smirked evilly down at his boyfriend and slowly started to roll his hips.

Isak covered his mouth with his hand, glaring at Even.

“Uh…” He could practically hear his mamma thinking. “I think it will just be family-family. Isak can come next time, okay?”

“Okay,” Even said. “I’ve got to g-ohh..”

Isak decided two can play at his game. He bucked his hips up and clenched around Even, the way that Even liked.

“Even? Are you okay?” his mamma asked over the phone.

“Ja, mamma, I’m fine.” Even glared down at Isak. “I’ve got to go, mamma, I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you tonight, Even.” Even hung up and threw his phone down, attacking Isak’s neck once more. “God, you’re evil.”

“Me?” Isak said in shock, laughter turning back to moans as Even rolled his hips again. “You’re the one who picked up a phone call with your mother while balls deep in me.”

Even thrust his hips harder, his pace becoming erratic. “Fuck, I need you to stop talking about my mamma. I need to cum, Isak, I need you so bad.”

“Then do.” Isak attached their lips again, both of them tumbling over the edge of oblivion together.

Later, after a second round in the shower, Even showed up at his parents house only ten minutes later, wearing three layers and a scarf. He was hesitant to take off the scarf, both because it smelt like Isak and because Isak had left a very noticeable hickey on his neck. He knew the knowing looks he would get from his parents, the teasing he would have to endure from his brother.

“Even!” his mamma greeted as she opened the door. “I was starting to wonder if you’d been abducted by aliens.”

Even laughed. “I’m not that late.”

“Little brother!” Eirick’s voice came from inside the house, and Even was pulled inside.

He slipped off his shoes and his jean jacket, keeping on the thin hoody that technically belonged to Isak, but discarding the scarf. As predicted, his mother raised an eyebrow and smirked at him, shaking her head. He rolled his eyes and followed her into the living room, where his brother was sat, playing with Britt. When she say Even, she got up and ran to hug him, catching him around the waist. She was ten now, almost eleven, but still short compared to Even. Eirick raised an eyebrow at his hickey.

“Sonja getting feisty?” he asked with a sly grin.

Even raised an eyebrow in return. “You do know we broke up about half a year ago, right?”

“Oh, really?” Eirick frowned.

“Ja, and I have a boyfriend now, named Isak.” He looked to his papa, who only shrugged. “We’ve lived together for a month?”

“Dude, I’ve been at school in fucking France for the past seven months, I don’t really remember a lot other than french food and french women.” He laughed, while Even only shook his head and chuckled. “So, how’s life at Nissen?”

“It’s pretty cool. I have some nice friends.”

“And this Isak guy?”

Even chuckled again. “Ja, him, too.”

“Boys!” mamma called. “Dinner is on the table.”

They stood and made their way to the dining room, each taking a seat across from each other. Even’s mouth watered at the sight of his mother’s cooking. It had been a few months since he lived there, so it had been a few months since he’d had his mother’s cooking. Juicy looking lamb ribs and pickled herring were the main dishes on the table, with a fine array of cheeses and potatoes in their own little dishes around them. 

Eirick groaned to himself as he took a bite of the lamb, and Even had to stop himself from doing the same.

“Are the french not feeding you?” Einar joked.

“It’s all bread and cheese there,” Eirick said dismissively. “Give me good ratfisk and salted lamb any day over a baguette and brie.”

Even laughed, covering his mouth with a hand.

“Oh, Even,” mamma said, covering his free hand with hers. “I’m sorry you couldn’t bring Isak, but I wanted to bring something up to the whole family, and didn’t know how much he knew about, you know,” she cleared her throat, “the first time you had a really bad episode.”

Even nodded, looking at her attently. “He knows, but it’s fine. Family dinners are always fun.”

“Family dinners got damn awkward after you went to the hospital,” Eirick joked. “Britt wouldn’t stop asking where you were.”

“I was concerned!” Britt exclaimed, glaring at her oldest brother. She turned a winning smile to Even. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Even smiled. “I was fine. I was in the place I needed to be.” He didn’t catch the small, happy look that passed between Einar and Laila. “And anyway, dinners weren’t all that much better when I got back.” He snorted in memory. “Everyone was so quiet.”

“That’s kind of what I wanted to talk about,” mamma said. 

Even frowned. “Me going to the hospital?” He swallowed his food and shook his head. “Mamma, I-I’m okay, I don’t need to go back.”

“Nei, nei, not that!” Laila put a hand over her heart. “Not that at all.” She shook her head and frowned. “Nei, what I was thinking was maybe we could all go back to the cabin? We could make better memories there, Isak could come.”

“If Even’s bringing Isak, can I bring Ivanka?” Eirick asked. “She goes to my school, we’ve been together for a couple months.”

“Sure!” mamma agreed, nodding.

“Can I bring Liam?” Britt asked.

“Uh, maybe not, sweety. Not just friends.”

“But Even is bringing Isak, and they’re friends! It’s not fair!”

Even snorted into his drink, causing his father to thump him on the back as he started to cough.

“Britt,” he said, gasping a little for air. “Isak and I are more than friends. We’ve been dating for a while.”

Britt scrunched up her nose. “But Isak’s a boy?”

Even nodded. “Ja, he is. Boys can date boys. Girls can date girls, too. And you don’t even have to date someone if you don’t want to.”

“But..” Britt looked around at her parents. “But you need a mamma and a papa to have a family. That’s what my teacher said. You need a mamma and a papa.”

“You can have a family with two mammas, or two papas,” papa explained. “It’s perfectly normal.”

“But… does that mean Isak is going to have your baby?”

Even snorted again, and Britt looked around in confusion as the older people in her family laughed. The twins joined in, but didn’t really know why they were laughing. Even suddenly got the picture of a pregnant Isak in his head and doubled up in laughter.

“Oh, honey, n-no!” mamma laughed, covering her mouth. “Isak is not going to have Even’s baby. Boys can’t have babies.”

“But then who is going to have the baby?”

Even looked over at his sister. “Isak and I don’t want a baby right now, and I don’t think we will for a while.”

Britt nodded, but was still confused. “Ja, but who will have the baby eventually?”

Even shrugged. “Someone.”

Britt didn’t look like she liked the answer, but she let it rest.

“So?” mamma asked. “Does everyone want to go back to the cabin?”

All around the table, it was a resounding yes.


End file.
